Welcome to the Counselor's Corner 

January 2012

Communication tips for dealing with low grades

 

When a low grade shows up…. on an interim report or report card, parents and teachers can become anxious about the problem and resort to blaming, scolding, or “grounding”- which may not result in improvement.

 

It might be more effective to have a discussion in which the adults recognize the child’s own disappointment and where together they can work out a plan for improvement.  (It is important to remember that it is the student’s responsibility to take the lead in diagnosing the problem, suggesting solutions, and working the situation through.)

 

Here are some discussion questions- and some brief reasons for asking each:

 

   “What do you think the problem is?”

        (The answer may surprise you.  It could be an excuse or the truth.)

 

   “What have you already tried to improve this situation?”

        (If answers sound like ‘put-ons’, note that most youngsters are slow to take action.)

    

   “How is the rest of school going at this point?”

        (A chance to relax by discussing happier situations.)

 

   “Does the way you spend time after school affect this problem in any way?”

        (Some relaxation is needed, but ‘goofing off’ instead of homework….)

 

   “What do YOU think might be a good course of action?”

        (The burden of coming up with solutions would be shouldered in part by the child.)

 

   “What are some good points and some bad points of your plan of action?”

        (Some cures are worse that the disease!)

 

   “What can we agree are the best steps to take now to attack the problem?”

      (The steps should be mutually acceptable to all concerned and must represent a firm program of change.)

 

   “How soon (number of days!) should I call/email the teacher to see if your plan of action is indeed 
   correcting the situation?

      (Follow-through on the agreements is the whole point; improvement must be made, not just talked about!)

 

When a student’s own attempts to correct a problem have not produced the hope-for results, the teacher and parent should be in direct contact in order to explore other avenues.


September 2011

Welcome Back!

 

After lots of summer fun it is almost time for the next school year adventure to begin!  That’s exciting news!  Mr. West has been busy sprucing up the school and thinking up ways to improve students’ school experiences.

 

I am the contact person for both transportation and virtus issues.  Please call or email me and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

 

It is my purpose to be a resource and support for the entire school community.  Please feel comfortable approaching me with your questions and/or concerns.

 

I look forward to working with you all over the coming year!

GETTING KIDS TO LISTEN...

 

·        Be as quick, candid, and forthright as possible.  You can communicate any number of messages and make your child feel that they are important and respected.

 

·        When your child asks a question, it is a sign that they are ready to listen and wants your opinion.  Be careful to choose an appropriate time for discussing touchy subjects with your child.

 

·        It is always tempting to know all the answers.  Sometimes we do know best.  Sometimes we don't, and we are all advised not to pretend that we know it all.  Admitting that we don't know is one way of conveying that we are not perfect, that we are human, too.

 

·        Sometimes parents worry that when they allow children to disagree with them they are undermining their respect and authority.  Actually, children feel more respect for parents when they feel free to express their side of things.  Permitting children to disagree with us shows them that we are strong enough to be challenged and big enough to back down if necessary.

 

·        Let them know that you can accept his good feelings and the so-called ""bad" feelings- and still think no less of them.  Telling your child that they should feel differently or that they should not feel what they feel won't encourage them to listen to you.

**Humiliating a child is a quick and sometimes permanent way to get a child not to listen.  None of us want to talk or listen to another person if we feel they might cut us down.
  

MaryAnn Bonifant

Counselor